April Fool hoaxes up by 372.5% on Internet


A new study reveals that, between 12.01am and 11.59am on April 1 2009, the number of April Fool’s Day hoaxes created by media organisations increased by approximately 372.5% over the same period in 2008. It is expected that the impact on business productivity of these hoaxes will amount to approximately 0.00567% of gross annual turnover. Modelling the data forward, this represents a CAGR* of 37.2% in the April 1 economy over the next five years.
The “April Fool’s Impact on the Economy” study entailed exhaustive study of the April 1 economy over several minutes, using cutting edge analytical tools like Twitter, Google’s “I Feel Lucky” application, and streaming radio from Talk Radio 702.
The Chief Probability Officer at World Wide Worx, Mr Not Another, noted an alarming rise in geek hoaxes, such as Google’s new 3D browser, Amazon’s cloud computing in a blimp, and any number of obscure Twitter gags.
“This increases the in-joke quotient to a level where it has a real impact on the digital divide between the haves and have-nots,” he said. “Of course, we are talking about those who have a life and those who don’t have and who are forced to get by on Twitter and Facebook relationships.”
However, an analyst from a rival company who asked a journalist from a sympathetic publication not to name him for fear of looking stupid, pointed out that the study was skewed, since it sampled only news sources that carried news.
Although the journalist somehow forgot to ask us to respond to this slander, the findings may well be restated once methodology issues have been resolved. The team of analysts had conducted a ranking of April Fool hoaxes, scoring them on an intricate matrix that includes believability, inevitability and gullibility. However, the model was found to violate the laws of probability, precluding the publication of the ranking. Mr Another has announced, entirely on his own initiative, that he will be departing World Wide Worx to pursue new business opportunities presented by the global financial crisis.

Among the hoaxes included in the study were:

Entire Internet to be rebooted today at 11.59 UTC
2010 World Cup stadiums grass disaster (video news clip)
Charlize Theron coming back to SA to star in soapie
Opera cellphone browser introduces phone control by facial expressions
Guardian to stop printing, moving to Twitter
YouTube provides upside-down video viewing
Computer virus claims human victim
DA leader to perform at CT International Jazz Festival
Cable theft delays SEACOM undersea cable
Emmarentia Dam to be renamed Mbeki’s Dam (video news clip)

* Compound April Grit-your-teeth Rate

1 April 2009

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